


Mission Impossible

by popatochisp



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Humor, M/M, Other, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 08:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popatochisp/pseuds/popatochisp
Summary: You can't escape his sharp and constant surveillance.For something very, very dear to you, you have to try.





	Mission Impossible

It shouldn’t be this hard. You shouldn’t have to sneak around  _in your own home_.

And yet…

Here you were, trying to stealth-mode up to your room before Sans caught you and made you pay.

You don’t jump when you hear a low voice at your ear whisper, “hey, where’s my cut?”

You’re prepared, passing the big cookie back to Papyrus without a word—payment for his silence.

It was already hard enough trying to slip something past Sans without somebody ready to snitch on you at the drop of a hat, but you’d found Papyrus’ weakness in sweets. A bribe here and there was enough to keep him out of the way long enough to give you a fighting chance.

“oh shit, raspberry cheesecake?  _fancy_ …good luck, human, i believe in you.”

No, he didn’t.

You’d be more offended by the hollow encouragement, but you both knew his brother.

You don’t say a word and go straight upstairs, taking the steps two at a time and avoiding every old creaky floorboard that’s tripped you up before.

Hope is cresting in your soul as you approach your door: you’re  _so_  close, you’re almost there, you’ve  _never_  made it this far before and the thought that you might actually get away with this is more exciting than words can convey.

You throw open your door in thrilled disbelief that you really,  _finally_ pulled this off…!

No, you didn’t.

In the darkness of your room, you see two ultraviolet eye-lights staring right at you, illuminating a very sharp, very familiar smirk.

“ _Damn_  it!”

Sans just cackles at you from atop your bed. “YOU’RE ADORABLE,” he coos, condescending as can be. “YOU  _KNOW_  YOU CAN’T GET ANYTHING PAST ME, DEAREST, WHY DO YOU  _INSIST_  ON TRYING?”

You sigh, sagging against the door frame in defeat. “You’re a  _bastard_. Just take it, already.”

Sans perks up when you hold out the bag of fast food, your greasy sack of treasures bulging with salty, oily delights that you would now have to… _share_.

It makes your heart break a little, it really does.

You’d had no idea that Sans had such love in his non-existent heart for junk food. He was always eating healthy, working out ( _training_ , he insisted), denouncing his little brother’s sweet-tooth…how could you have possibly guessed that the reason he was so careful about his diet and exercise was to balance out his passion for all things fried and greasy?

He’s already eagerly rifling through the bag he took from you, picking and choosing from the cornucopia of everything you’d planned on eating all by yourself.

If you’d known when you started dating Sans that you’d never eat alone again…

Well, no, you’d have dated the bastard anyway. He could be surprisingly sweet when he wasn’t being a smug jerk and shamelessly stealing your food.

As if to prove it, he leans in to kiss you, murmuring against your lips, “IT WAS A VERY GOOD ATTEMPT. YOU’RE GETTING VERY STEALTHY, I’M PROUD OF HOW FAR YOU’VE COME, REALLY.”

You grab at the bag, tentatively trying to tug it out of his claws. “Proud enough to only take a burger…?”

Sans barks out a laugh. “YOU WISH! WHAT IS IT YOU HUMANS SAY? ‘SHARING IS CARING’? NOW GIVE ME YOUR FRIES.”

**Author's Note:**

> Posting some drabbles of mine separately just because! Originally from my collection, Bag of Bones, where this and the rest of my drabbles so far can be found.
> 
> Like everyone and their grandmother, I have my own version of the Swapfell AU in my head so here's a quick and dirty cheat-sheet based on the three most popular versions: aesthetics of SF Purple/SF Gold, personalities of SF Gold/SF Red.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


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